Redneck / Ghetto Seafood

It is amazing how what is redneck is also ghetto. Above is a pic of redneck / ghetto sea food on a platter. Enjoy

And for your edification, pictured below from the archives, is a member of the redneck Special Forces.

Hell Hath No Fury

Never tick off a woman who can operate a backhoe.

Ghetto Hairdo

You see some weird ghetto hairstyles in the tropics. This one was snapped at a fast food joint.

Ghetto Spring Break

I had a blog entry about "Thank God that Spring Break is Over". I tell you, sometimes words fail me when it comes to the ghetto subculture.

I think that this is a Superman variant.

And this hula dancer is a nightmare:

And today's musical offering is appropriately entitled "Curtains" -- incidentally my favourite Elton John song. The way that Elton dressed would fit right in here.

On Baby Pigeons and Ghetto Pants

I thought that I had figured it out. I thought that I had solved a mystery that has been plaguing mankind ever since man has accreted together and lived in clumps in cities and towns. For where ever man has gathered, he (and she) have been joined by rats and pigeons.

Now mind you, my theory is that pigeons are flying rats. They are the street grifters of the avian world. They hang around city sidewalks, begging for your spare change -- payable in popcorn, french fries, bits of your sandwich or scraps of bread. Seagulls have elevated this to a fine art, by specializing entirely in McDonald's food. They are the fry guys in terms of human food consumption.

The Europeans and especially the French were masters at creating cuisine out of all creatures large and small. Pigeons did not escape their attentions. If you drive through France, you will see pigeonniers all over the place. They are pigeon houses. They were kept for two purposes, communications and food. Before the invention of the telegraph, France had an communications network of homing pigeons that carried messages up and down France. It was like a primitive internet, and the information packets were strapped to the bird legs. The elegant part was that not only was it an information delivery service, but it was food delivery as well. Once you got the message, you ate the delivery mechanism.

The pigeons in Europe are bred for food. They are served wholesome grains, fine herbs and flies that have not visited manure piles. Here in North America, eating a street pigeon would taste like a garbage pie.

But the big mystery plaguing mankind, is: Where are all the baby pigeons?? Think about it. Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? I haven't. You see a mother duck and baby ducks. You see mother and child in the robin family. You don't see a mother pigeon with a parade of baby pigeons, teaching them to walk the sidewalks, avoid traffic and beg for food. Do pigeons hatch full grown, already supplied with begging skills?

I thought that I had found the answer. I took a picture of my first ever baby pigeon (above). I nearly filled the whole memory card with pictures of the thing. After the 100th frame, I suddenly realized that this was no baby pigeon at all. It was a baby dove. The mystery continues.

One mystery that has been solved for me, is the mystery of ghetto pants. Why do ghetto dwellers wear their pants below their bum and around their knees. Well, the photo below solves that mystery:




And finally, I also have a musical offering that is quite quite moving. I was doing some Youtube research on Paul Simon. I came across Paul Simon in Africa. On stage, they sung the national anthem of Africa to close the concert. You will see Paul Simon singing with African superstar Miriam Makeba. The song is N'Kosi Sikeleli Africa -- or God Bless Africa. It is an amazing musical experience.

Friday -- The Dead Skin of My Life Today

In Bill Bryson's book, "A Short History of Nearly Everything" (scroll down for the Cosmological Cabbage Book Review ), he tells of how the human being is loaded with scads and scads of dead skin and it falls off every day feeding a plethora of mites and small bugs.

Like dead skin, these are the bits falling of my life this Friday morning. First of all, Sheryl Crow is coming to the Bahamas. If the price of admission is not the equivalent of a few carats of brilliant diamonds, I think that I will go. When cyclist and Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong was dating Sheryl, I thought that he was lucky to park his bike in her rack.


Secondly, I came across the rat trap pictured below on Paradise Island. It was empty of it's poisoned bait. I was worried about what ate all of the poison. The only thing that rat poison doesn't hurt, is rats. They use it as a digestive and a spice.



And I couldn't help but feel sorry for this lady who has lost her dog. One minute she was getting ready to inhale a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, and the next minute her pooch was missing.
I guess the lesson here is that crack kills.

I was walking along Paradise Island Drive yesterday, and spied a smallish centipede that someone had thoughtfully squashed on the sidewalk. If you are allergic to their venom, they can be lethal.


And finally, I love the ingenuity of the ghetto fire detector.
So that is how my Friday is shaping up. It is just a usual day in Paradise. I have a luncheon meeting that could mean nothing, or mean that I have an incredible business opportunity in front of me that would be a dream of mine. It is just the dead skin of my life in the tropics.

The Ghetto Senator From Fox Hill

The Parliament had its opening session in the Bahamas. The House of Assembly was full of pomp and circumstance. Governor General AD Hanna demitted office and a new Governor General, Sir Arthur Foulkes was installed. The chief justices were their in their robes and judicial wigs. The Vice Regal had his regalia. The President of the Senate wore the robes and woolen wigs as a symbol of her office. Everyone wore their badge of office or their finest clothes.

Except for the ghetto Senator from Fox Hill. Her name is Dr. Jacinta Higgs, and she wore a Halloween costume to the opening of Parliament.
Check out the hat and the gloves.

It was said that this outfit was custom made for her. I think that her milliner was the Mad Hatter who smoked crack. Some people have no shame or sense of propriety -- especially if you are a ghetto senator.

Ghetto Handyman

This is what happens when you let a ghetto handyman work on your house:

An extension cord would have been better.

I wonder if there is room for one more wire.

The ceiling was too low by a foot.

Missed it by a foot? Use a bunch of spare electrical boxes.

No place to put the sink? Let's make it a sink/shower combo!

Adjustable bracket for any angle.

Long flexible elbow?

Can't mount it on the roof? Stick it in the toilet vent pipe.

There's room here...let's put the u-trap here!

Off by a few inches, just use a couple pieces of wood to hold up the main joist

If these can hold you up then why not here?

How about a light in the shower?

Leaky drain - out of duct tape, then use electrical tape

Who's going to work on this.....if there is an electrical or plumbing problem ???

Upside down - sideways trap

What! The trap is there...just turn your head sideways

Why not just buy some shorter nails....

Don't need a light switch

How about a 360 degree to an inline trap equipped with a u-trap along the way?

How to install an attic vent fan......you require the following parts: drywall, sheet metal, fiberglass batt, wire ties, electrical tape, duct tape and nails

The down spout can't handle the heavy rain then let's help it

If one elbow is good, why not put two in?

Eventually it will become a concrete wall equipped with weeping holes?

Breakers keep tripping so let's take it out

The first one couldn't shut off the water so let's put in a second one

New! sideways elbow!

There's arcing? I wonder why?

Remember, you pay for what you get. Let a professional do it!