Bengali marriages give away scores of simple rituals to cherish the once-in-lifetime wedding experience. A typical Bengali marriage takes place with imploring the ancestors to be present and shower blessings on the "to be married" couple. Bengalis are culture conscious people and they enjoy their multihued marriages.
To begin with, there is the dodhi mangal ceremony which takes place in both the houses on the marriage day early in the morning at dawn before sunrise. The norm is that a married couple goes out and brings water in a pitcher from a nearby river or pond. The couple is accompanied by five married women. They go to a water source, be it even a tap, and collect water in a metal pitcher.
This ritual is followed by another ritual which has the girl having an auspicious meal - comprising of rice and fish dishes, and chirwa, curd etc. This is done in pre-dawn hour, known as the brahma muhurta, which is regarded as the most positive of all times in the day.
Bengali marriage is quite a boisterous affair like any other Indian marriage. But there aren't too much of gregarious rituals in the course of a marriage. "Ashirwaadi" is a quite ceremony that takes place on the day of the actual wedding. It's marked with the boy's family members coming over and blessing the girl with gifts and all.
Simultaneously, the girl's relatives also go over and formally bless the chosen one. A girl's giftpack generally comprises saris and ornaments for the bride, sweets, fish, curd, betel leaf, betel nuts, sandal paste, etc all decorated in trays. This fair is called the "Tatwa" or trousseau.
Along with the presents come the turmeric paste - it's a unique feature of Bengali marriage. With this turmeric paste, there commences the "Gaye Halud" ceremony which is uproarious. This turmeric paste is the same one with which the bridegroom has taken a bath.
The girl is to use the same paste and then bath. The idea is to inculcate an element of familiarity. A fantastic thing that is being done throughout all the important rituals of Bengali marriage is the blowing of conchshells. It is a hallmark of Bengali festivities and affects the atmosphere with traditional way of rejoicing.
Other mandatory rituals begin early in the morning of wedding day. The Bengalis believe in paying oblation to the dead ancestors of the house and get their blessings before taking the Saat Pheras. The ritual is known as Vriddhi and it is performed by the paternal uncle of both the families. The bride, groom and their uncles are put on semi-diet.
The place is decorated with simple alpana - design patterns made of rice paste. Other embellishments include the placing at the entrance, a small banana tree with a small copper pitcher mangal ghat underneath. Another amazing thing is a small mango stem with five leaves i.e. amra pallav, kept in the water in the ghat. On the wall adjacent is drawn with sindoor, a star symbol - Sri. To maintain the auspiciousness of the occasion, strings of mango leaves are put up at the doorway.
As the day advances, the bride wears Sankha and Pola, bangles that adorn the arms of Bengali married girls, especially newly married. As the muhurta (auspicious moment)for the marriage nears i.e. the evening, when the Bengali marriages usually take place, the girl is helped to dress up in bright, rich saree and dazzling ornaments. Friends and relatives cheer the coy bride and they all sit in a well-decorated room, where the guests start pouring in with gifts and blessings.
Custom has it that the groom comes to the girl's house to marry her. The dress code for the guy is that he has to wear the Bengali style dhoti and kurta. He also sports a headwear like a crown called the topor. As the muhurta (auspicious moment) for the wedding arrives, four or five male members of the bride's family bring her on a pier. She keeps her face covered with betel leaves during this time. The norm is to make the bride take seven rounds around the groom.
Finally the two come face to face for the 'first glance' or shubha drishti. The girl removes the betel leaf and the couple makes the first "eye-contact". The two would then be asked to exchange garlands in a ritual called mala badal. As the blushing couple do these rituals, their relatives cheer, blow couch shells and the ladies sound the uloo dhani.
The marriage takes place in front of a fire. The priest invokes the gods and goddesses to witness and permit the marriage between the boy and the girl. In the Sampradan ceremony, the girl's father or uncle gives away the bride with the chanting of mantras. The boy and the girl take the vows to remain by each other's sides through good and bad times of life.
Then the ceremony of yagya begins where the couple walks around the fire seven times. Then they offer Anjali to the fire by giving offerings of puffed rice. The wedding is finally culminated with the sindoor dan where the groom applies vermilion to the bride's hair parting. Then the groom offers the bride a new sari with which she covers her head. Officially married, they now touch the feet of all the elders to seek their blessingsThe couple gets to dine with their friends and folk after the ceremony is over.
Custom has it that the newly married couple does not sleep that night. Instead, they spend the night with friends in fun and laughter. The ceremony of bashi biye takes place in the following morning. Some games are being played to find out whether the newly married people would go along nicely in their lives or not. It is frivolous and nothing serious.
When the times come, the bride wears her wedding dress and takes adieu of her parents. She goes to her husband's house with her new family. As she steps into her husband's home a formal reception is accorded to the bride known by bou baran. A lady holds a plate containing dye and milk under the bride's feet. Having imprinted the soles of her feet thus, she leads her by the arm into the house. The elders of the house bless the newly weds. Amidst loud ringing of bells and blowing of conch shells the groom puts an iron bangle on to his bride's left arm. .
Bou bhat takes place where for the first time that the bride serves food, usually delicious rice preparations to the family elders and her meal in her new home. At this point, the husband proffers a plate full of food, along with a new sari as an affirmation that from now he is responsible for all her needs- food, shelter and clothing. There takes place a reception party at the groom's house the same day or the following day.
Finally the phool sajjaya (Suhag raat) which is the third night after the wedding, the nuptial bedroom is decorated with beautiful flowers and the newly weds too put on new clothes for this special occasion.
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